Malintovia Academy

Malintovia Academy (or makiedeny in Malovian) is the nation’s leading cause of total obedience to the dear leader. There, the parasites, or children as many call them, go to learn lessons such as ‘How to make a Bubger’ or ‘How to obey the dear leader’ but also lessons like ‘Skrulls, how to kill them and hunt them down’ but don’t forget about ‘Malovian’ where we teach the parasites our glorious language. Led by top educator Victor Von Doom, this is the perfect place to send your vile little monster to go and learn the greatness of Malintovia. Got any concerns about your kid’s behaviour? Well, we offer starvation, a life sentence, being forced to shoot themselves every second they doubt Iron-Vell’s greatness, being shipped off to war with nothing but underwear (the underwear doesn’t come without a fee of 3 toes) and more! Unlike most western schools, we actually do something about bullying. Are you bullied? If so, tell a teacher and they’ll hang them by his toes over a vat of molten lava so you can beat them up and THEN burn them alive. Modern problems require modern solutions. If you have more questions, please ask educational instructor Victor Von Doom on the message wall of the BOTS (BrotherhoodOfTheSwamp).

Hail Malintovia! Long live the emperor!